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Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
10:48 pm - Ye of Little Faith
I bow before you in supplication. My lack of updates are, at best, an atrocity. The great entity known as Real Life has set in, making updates all the more difficult to supply. I hope none of you are too sorely afflicted.

Now that I have the melodramatic dribble out of the way -- hello! You are, undoubtedly, glued to your computer chairs, eager to see what Ciara has in store for you this evening... or morning, seeing as how my eyes are glazed over with sleep fog and the sun has long since faded into the backdrop of the sky. Alas... the ooh's and ah's will have to wait. This is more of a "Don't alert the authorities, I'm alive" type of post.

Can you dig it?

current mood: gloomy

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Saturday, May 21st, 2005
10:20 pm - She's Super Freaky, Now.
I must say, wood boring pests are just a bit more unerving than they should be. Try imagining a moth-beetle hybrid, boring a hole through your roof... then turning around and doing the same thing to your arm. Not going to happen, but just a wee bit creepy, when you think about it. Yes.

I do believe the fascination with Kip has worn thin; he just wasn't the man I had believed him to be. Then again, perhaps my opinionated mind has just warped things, as usual, and Kip really is "right spiffy." Ha. Ha. Ha. Suffice it to say, I doubt you'll hear anything more about my mysterious five-minute cohort. Damn and a half. (What does that mean, anyway? Kiddies, this is what alcohol does to you. Don't drink it. End PSA.)

*Clears throat* Alright, then. I wish I had something more titillating to write about, but alas, the creativity bug has decided to hibernate for the... summer.

Au revoir, oh my beautiful one.

current mood: cranky

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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
5:54 pm - A Worthy Cause
Due to a certain Livejournal friend (who shall remain nameless,) I have incurred the wrath of the ice cream god these past couple of days. Hah, let's see Dick call me anorexic now.

Last night, I met someone whose life seems even zanier than mine. I never imagined this to be possible. Of course I've never met anyone like me- who do you know that swims with sharks, breaks into abandoned mental institutions, and throws herself into arguements with complete strangers, simply because it's "something to do?" Yes, that's what I thought.

In any case, Kip and I have planned a late-night excursion to one of the old asylums (ah, what a way to segue). We're bringing cheap wine and brownies. Care to join? No, they aren't special brownies, but they're delicious and chocolatey, and that's what brownies are supposed to be, damnit! I'm too frugal for anything other than four dollar wine and 99 cent store brownie mix. I know I'm enticing you.

Ah, schoolwork beckons.

current mood: creative

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Sunday, May 1st, 2005
7:42 pm - And they roll over in their graves
It has come to my attention that my updates have disappeared into the oblivion known as real life. Therefore, I make a promise to you, my loyal readers (of which I have three); from now on, any preordained periods of absense will be duly noted in this here journal, asap. Sound peachy? Yes, I thought so.

In any case, I'm sure you are all wanting some exciting, well planned entry on my latest hare-brained schemes and ventures; alas, I cannot provide you with any at the present time. Personal issues have kept me from expressing myself in the manner I had grown accustomed too, and as such I was forced to take a break from life and that which comes with it; including this here journal. To make an incredibly long story short, there were deaths, there were tears, and then I was whole again. Well, as whole as a person can be after having their heart wrenched from their very chest and stomped on with combat boots. That reminds me, I need to get me a pair of those. (o_O I am just fabulous, aren't I?)

Love to my chickadees, and I will write again soon. For now, suffice it to say I am alive and just dandy.

current mood: content

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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
1:03 pm
What an incredibly long weekend.

I had the thought earlier that maybe I should cut down on the vodka tonics; that, however, was summarily dismissed when an aquaintance from school dragged me to Dirk's Horseshoe Lounge for a good ol' fashioned sporking. (Honestly, you wont understand, so why bother asking?)

Suffice it to say my weekend (which continued into Monday, I should add) was rife with drinking, bullseyes, fun monkey romps, and dancing in the rain. I added a few numbers to my adequate, if a bit small, "black book" (I should explain that most of the three numbers I acquired were given after repeated attempts at strip poker. Unfortunately, I was so inebriated that I could barely see straight, let alone remove my clothing. Eh, so they were pity numbers. Like I'd have called them anyway).

In any case, I desperately needed to get out of my apartment. I've been feeling a bit penned in as of late, so this weekend was a time to relax and enjoy.

I do believe I'm off now. Schoolwork has me bogged down completely, and besides, I need to take another trip to Hog's Market (joy...). Maybe Officer Dickhead will find it in his heart to give me the number to a clinic for depressed adults when he sees the five inch cut I sustained while romping this past weekend. Insert sarcastic eye roll here.

Au revoir, loves.

current mood: sleepy

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Thursday, January 13th, 2005
9:53 am - It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
Had an interesting run-in with the grocery clerk at Hog's Market today. (Don't ask why it's called Hog's Market, because to this day I still haven't a clue. It's not like they sell pigs. Well, they sell bacon.) I digress.

I get to the check out lane (heaven forbid they actually have an express lane for people with only three items. Nooo, those people have to stand behind Smelly Pete with a gigantic grocery cart full of nothing but Chips Ahoy and Corona.) and, after waiting behind beer belly man, I finally get my turn. The cashier takes note of my purchases (a a small bag of apples, a carton of milk,and celery), glances at me, and proceeds to give me the number of an eating disorder hotline.

Now, ordinarily I take things like this in stride. People always assume I'm anorexic, given that I'm not as curvy as some women. Since when is it a crime to eat healthy? It's not like I was buying water and a carton of Ex-lax. This self-assuming, pompous prick was about to get the talking to of his lifetime. Until I noticed his nametag.

There, prominently displayed upon the bright yellow polo, was the name "Dick." There I was, in the checkout lane at Hog's Market, laughing like an insane person.

"Ex... excuse me, sir." I managed to stammer, all the while between fits of laughter. By now, everyone in the store was either casting strange looks my way, or determinedly avoiding staring.

"Is there a problem, miss?" Dick ever so politely asked, withdrawing the number he'd previously offered. You know, the one people who throw up their food call. Anyway, looking Dick straight in the eye, I say to him "No, there's no problem. Your name fits very well with your personality." I could feel another fit of laughter coming on, so I quickly exit the store, amidst clapping from a few patrons who, I'm assuming, heard Dick's and my little exchange.

Silly me, I left the store without my purchases. Fuck you, Dick. I've lost my celery because of you.


current mood: Apples, celery, milk, boo hoo!

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Monday, January 10th, 2005
6:53 pm - The sign said do not disturb vegetation...
I killed a gopher today. To be quite frank, my friend and I killed a gopher today.

I can picture the animal rights activists pounding on my door as I type. Let me explain.

My yard is quite substantial. Usually, our gardener does the lawnwork, but he's off duty with a horrid sinus infection, so I've been elected lawn queen for the duration of his illness. Recently, those pesky little creatures known as gophers have been destroying our lawn, leaving large holes around the perimeter.

Needless to say, those beady eyed little suckers had it coming. Not that I condone the senseless killing of poor, defenseless creatures... however. I was mowing the lawn, going over a particularly rough patch of grass when, from the midst of this all, I hear a "Bzzz, garble garble, clunk" noise, and the mower stops dead. Enlisting the help of my friend, who I'd lured to my place with promises of cookies and cheap sex, we proceeded to kick the mower back to life. I yelled some choice words, and, after a few futile attempts at that, I gave the handle a giant pull, pretty much seething anger by now. The mower started, lurched forward, and a giant PLOP noise seemed to resound throughout my back yard.

At this point I was beyond the point of caring; moving the mower, I noticed the bloody remains of what I could safely assume was a gopher lying beneath where the mower had just been. Seems the little guy picked the exact moment the mower launched into life to dig his little head out of the earth.

A word to the wise; mower malfunctions and PMS do not mix.

But hey! My friend DID get the cookies and cheap sex I'd promised her.

current mood: restless

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11:23 am - Live to Dream. Dream to Die.
So you've happened upon my Livejournal, have you? Well, that's just great. If you don't agree with opinionated, stubborn, sarcastic women, then please hightail it out of here and catch the earliest flight back to Utah. Or wherever you hail from. Well then, now that we've gotten that out of the way...

I'm using this first post as a sort of introduction into what you can expect to find here. If you're used to reading detailed entries about every insignificant thing that happens in a person's daily life, I just may disappoint you. Before you click the back button on your browser, let me clarify- the things I write about are probably not what you usually encounter in such entries.

You wont find the usual angsty teen rantings in here. You wont find up to the minute reports on what's happening between me and my latest crush (Like, OMG, Billy said HI to me, tee hee!). Not happening. Granted, you may find something in here that makes you just want to KILL this faceless Ciara girl that thinks she knows everything. Well, I'm here to tell you that I don't know everything; but I know enough to realize I'm better than you.

See? I told you I'm opinionated xD.

In any case, if you're into obscure, random, and just possibly insane diatribes of the many unusual activities and whatnot I partake in on a daily basis, then by all means, contact me. Add me as a friend. Comment excessively on every post telling me you love me, hate me, want me to knit your dog a sweater, or just have something to say.

I promise, I wont bite... much.

current mood: working

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